Sweet Dancing Angels for my daughter in heaven

Monday, October 10, 2022

A Bit of a Poetry/Prose “Dead Woman in a Park” #unreasonableexpectations #lorijeanfinnila

 This I felt so strongly within this past hour. I could feel the coldness of how unimportant she was. I do remember her as an important woman.

News Article

Image by Nicole Turner from Pixabay 


What is the difference between this beautiful woman who is trying to find her beauty and strength in a tent? A Woman's Struggle With the Fear of Camping Alone


Unreasonable Expectations written by Lori Jean Finnila


You are lost now

not knowing what you see

so sure of your fear

before you die



As you lay here dying

no one hears you crying

you eventually die

eventually others who know your pain cry


In the beauty of nature

you find your last home

perhaps finally feeling the safest ever

perhaps it was a wanderer

perhaps it was your fear

that took you to your last day here


I will remember you

I know your journey

I know your path

I am a woman too

who couldn’t fit into

what was expected of us


We all know too much

we can’t fit into this triangle 

of expectations that are unreasonably put upon us

that no one can expect to live through

but some do by chance


Perhaps some still leave earlier

Not in the same way

yet they’ve all known the pain

of the unreasonable expectation


Some die of the exhaustion

Some die of the cold

Some die of murder

Dying becoming too early old


Some die of mere sadness

of no pleasure that they can’t find within their heart

possibly of once known so great

that they can’t ever put their hands on again


But don’t worry now our angel

I do remember as we all know

your pain, your trouble, the unreasonable

expectations of becoming a woman.

Monday, September 26, 2022

"Beautiful and Resilient" #newsonglyrics #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 This song comes from me looking down at the waterfront where I live in Portland, OR. I don't go down to it, I just look down toward it. I can see the bikes and people. Hear the noises coinciding with it from afar. Yet I hold my breath and clutch my chest to the what the remembrance of that spot brings to me. I'm still working on this emotional feeling.

Image by Jason Goh from Pixabay 


Verse

You take me down

By one look at you

Though I’m drawn to you

I have to face the fear

You are powerful

Your strength takes me down

At the same time strongest to imagination

You are outside of my realms

I’ll find a way

 To take my steps to you


Chorus

Though my fear appears to be stronger

Your depth in advancement

Is far equal to

I know I can overcome you


Verse

Your dark and long

Dry and strong

Holding me in my chest

I can’t breathe

I can’t see straight

When I try to look at you

But in reality

You’re just a beautiful place


Am I to  move on from this place

And feel my true beauty and resilience

Once I’ve done this

They’ll be so many more

I know, so sadly

But true

Chorus


Verse

But it’s okay

As long as I walk down to you

To the end 

Where the fear is the strongest

I will embrace 

This beautiful

Moment with you

And then will let it go

Have no more fear

Of this feeling that takes proceeds over me


Chorus



Tuesday, September 13, 2022

"Don't You Know Little Girl" #writingfromflowers #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter


I used to go to 3 fields down the road from me before I was school age. I would run through the fields with flowers. I couldn't believe how free I felt. 

"Don't You Know Little Girl"

Verse
You've always been different
You've always been a clown
Smaller than most 
Like a boy, funny at times
Too short, too small
to wear a normal dress
Last in line
Late for class

Those odd colors on you catch the eye
Your misplaced personality leaves you blind
With discontentment
You doubt yourself too much

Chorus
Don't you know little girl
They save the best for last
You might just be a little girl now
But the whole world is waiting for your finest

Verse
Open up those lovely petals
Even though they're different
they're yours 
They bloom in uniform

Chorus

Verse
Don't let yourself feel bad
When you're always forgotten about 
pick up your chin
dry your eyes
Get out of bed

Run wild
In the outside
Your world is out there 
In anticipation 
Waiting for you to capture it

Chorus


Sunday, September 11, 2022

"Wild Heart ' A dirty little prose #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #writingtoflowers


Wild heart

You naughty little girl
Putting those holes in your pants
Pulling your shirts up

How many times have you 
Packed your school bag 
With your naughty clothes

How many times have
You dreamed and pursued
The boys to look your way

How many times have you told 
Grandma 'no' to what you're
going to do anyway
How many times have you
landed a slap on your face

Don't tie me down
by locking me in my room
Don't charge me for gas so I won't go too far
Don't ignore my tears that go on for 3 days
To attend that naughty dance once again.

(Me growing up.)

Writing From Flowers #singersongwriter #lorijeanfinnila #newsonglyrics "Come Sing With Me My Flower"


This flower reminds me of happy times at childhood.


Come Sing With Me My Flower 

Verse
I want to dance and sing 
When you're around
I can open myself up wide in your face
I hold back no emotion
You've brought me to this place

Chorus
Come sing with me my flower
As I watch you 
You're at the most open
that you can be

Verse
I don't hesitate my feelings
When I look close at you
I know instantly how I feel
I'm confident in this

Chorus

Verse
Come make me laugh
I know I can be the loudest with you
I can cry
You won't judge me
I won't faulter
 with my love for you

Bridge
I'm as strong as I can be
I don't think twice about myself
I know you have 
all the definitions of me

Chorus 
Come sing with me my flower
As I watch you 
You're at the most open
that you can be

I know I can be the happiest with you!!

Come sing with me my flower!
Repeat

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Mystic Energy #newsong #thecranberries #lorijeanfinnila

Art speaks to us through writing.

When I was studying I had to read into art. It's amazing the connection you make with it. Lets look at art history and see where it took me to write this song. 

I started out with artwork, then Rebecca Campbell's mystic power, then I turned to The Cranberries, which is where I ended up.


Song

The power outside of our hands
That we fight so hard to visualize 
And in this we find ourselves trapped
In order to get there

That can lead us to the most open realm
Dropping, falling, leaping are in our thoughts
As we open our hands to recieive 
What is meant to come to us

Sometimes it's a place outside of ourselves
Or just outside of our control
It's within I'm told
I'm sure

Tell me how you want me to help you
I see your lips
I read your eyes
Your pain is mine
Why

I'm meant to be here
So I don't die
But listen to you
And your message to me

But how did I miss you
Listening to you so long 
Bringing me comfort
As I never took your hand 
Now you're gone

So many years down the road
My head cracked for everyone to see
I can see how I could have been there for you

I still listen to you today
As I skip the cement road 
behind my house
Like a little girl
Drinking your words
Soaking the wisdom
It was just like yesterday 

(Haven't quite picked a chorus yet.)





 

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

"Seeing Myself Again" #newsonglyrics #lovesong #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

I just wrote this song inspired by the new movie out called "Love Song."


"Seeing Myself Again"

Verse
So many dusty, cobbly roads 
I've walked on
I've felt so all alone

I came so far
Just to see myself
I'm seeing myself once again

Chorus
I'm seeing myself once again
It feels so fresh and young and alive
I didn't think that I could feel this
But I know I can begin again

Verse
The road has been long
The pain has been hard
When I lost you
I had a broken heart
I couldn't see
I couldn't feel
I couldn't get past the days we spent

I live alone
I drive too far
I talk to myself
I ask why

I see the stars
I hear you call
But I know it can only be heaven

Chorus

Verse
I see myself as beauty now once again
I think I can feel the warm sun on my skin
I drink life with a new taste I appreciate 

Chorus



Monday, August 1, 2022

The Ugly Woman #newsong #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

I'm up tonight writing this. I guess I'm the artist I need to be and I have to stop kicking myself about it no matter who likes it, that way I don't hurt the ones I really love. 

Verse
Breathing is necessary
Breathing is our privilege
I sit in silence and contemplate
Am I out of bounds
How do I change this if I am

Chorus
Breathing is free
Breathing is to strive
But in what way do we breathe
How do I make a woman not look so ugly

Verse
How do I know what I can do 
When I'm up late at night 
Thinking of all the things I have
Is this wrong for me

Chorus

Verse
I wonder my next move
Not talking too long or loud
I know I can't please everyone

Bridge
The act of a person 
Is like an animal
We have to strive 
We have to be the artist
To understand ourselves 

Chorus

Friday, July 29, 2022

What Is It That I Sorely Need #newsong #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

I just started hitting this down. 


What is it that I sorely need



Alone in the dark
In a field waiting for life
Underwater where I escape most
I feel the beauty of desertion

the gaping holes in me
 Sagging skin and porous mane
I dont see
The liberation of disappearance
 I once feel again 

Though desertion is what you all see
I feel rooted
To some I may be buried
But I'm actually immersed
Not even to the knowledge to myself 

Outbreak to freedom 
A flight to liberation
Though this is what you may see
I feel the departure to the arrival me

Sunday, July 17, 2022

Glasses Coated with Gold #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 I just rewrote a song that I did a while back. Apparently this is what happens to you when you are left around so much lavish. Oh, oh.....


Photo courtesy Amazon.

Glasses Coated with Gold


Verse

So bored with disgust

Can't compare my lethargy

With words that come out of my mouth

Please forgive me for speaking

my boredom is beyond tears


Chorus

All I know 

are the glasses coated with gold

the freedom to run

play limitlessly


Verse

A desire to behold

A monument,

That fine white house 

on the hill to be mine


which all led to chancy foot skating

on a flowing river

where ducks drown

I could see to the bottom

where I hear the ice crack

as I was gently lifted

to my state where I was supposed to be


I needed more fun

to the farthest place 

I can run

a queen to be,

 a show of me, 

in a play for everyone to see