Am I Awake and The Beast of Heaven Celebrating 1 Million Views #singersongwriter #abuse #lorijeanfinnila

Lifetime of Abuse 

Free songs in side bar.

Yes, you can develop a deviated septum naturally over the course of your life. While many people are born with the condition, natural developmental growth, aging, and chronic inflammation can cause or worsen a deviated septum over time.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/16924-deviated-septum

While a deviated septum is often congenital or the result of direct trauma, chronic inflammation in the nasal passages can lead to structural changes. Repetitive swelling or conditions associated with it, such as chronic rhinosinusitis or intranasal irritants, can alter the nasal mucosa and sometimes cause or worsen septal displacement over time.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/deviated-septum/symptoms-causes/syc-203

Simplicity: Women’s Tears #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #womenstears #simplicity

 

Thanks For Your Support! #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #shazam #applemusic

 

Song 'Dying Burning Body's under 'radio friendly tracks' in web version sidebar.

Thanks For Your Support! #spotify #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #streamingmusic

 

At Spotify

Why Am I Feeling This Way #writing #lorijeanfinnila

Image by Agata from Pixabay

Not definitive or open enough to put into words

No absolute direction

Just actions I take each day

My every move I make is to make me beautiful to you

My body and my mind is always pushing towards that way

To take me closer to that place

I want to be beautiful to you

That’s how I feel when I see you

When you’re not here I’m inventive

I work hard on new ideas to recreate myself

I panic in a race

Though I try to stop myself from pushing too hard

I always come up with a new idea

I’m nearing you

That’s how I feel when I think of you

My every move I make is to make me beautiful to you

My body and my mind is always pushing towards that way

To take me closer to that place

I want to be beautiful to you

That’s how I feel when I see you

Each time I take a step I’m feeling you

You’re getting pretty close to me

I’m feeling better about myself

I see peaks of beauty 

I feel my mind moving in the right direction 

I feel the words

I may be a person to you

My every move I make is to make me beautiful to you

My body and my mind is always pushing towards that way

To take me closer to that place

I want to be beautiful to you

That’s how I feel when I see you 

I’m almost ready to reach you.

Dancing in the Clouds #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #song #alternativerock

 

Lori Jean Finnila · Dancing in the Clouds

https://pixabay.com/illustrations/child-moon-clouds-heaven-balloon-1262752/

Like a Broken Horse Clip #lorijeanfinnila #singersongeriter #likeabrokenhorse #humantrafficking

 

Thanks For Your Support! #applemusic #shazam #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 

Lori Jean Finnila
https://share.google/fPgdD82zBwfvrzb49

‘Wryly Wasted’ #electronicsong #tornlove #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 

Lori Jean Finnila · Wryly Wasted

https://pixabay.com/photos/heart-broken-nature-love-shape-742712/

My 4 Month Old Fetus Murdered #juvenileabuse #baby #lorijeanfinnila

 

Photo Courtesy WebMD

My poor baby Isabelle was this size when I was 17 when my exhusband decided to murder her because he was afraid her skin would be too dark. Praying for you Isabelle. Mommy loves you and will never forget you. ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏

A video of a baby moving at that age.

I was taken down by some drugs-immobilized to some capacity. He signed for it and then made sure I got upstairs to the room.

Baby Isabelle Look Alike

Dance With Me #electronicmusic #dancesongs #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

Hard To Believe #writer #beliefs #singer #lorijeanfinnila

 

N1M Music

It's hard to believe I'm No. 1 for my song at this site globally, nationally, and in the states for easy listening. I held in to my beliefs in writing.

I had doubts and I get tired of waiting for results. But I knew my writing was strong and my voice was. So I said 'I'll hold out.'

When you wrote from your soul I believe to stay with it no matter what. It's quiet most of the time because of it, but then magic happens. And it's these times you feel gratification.

For You Isabelle #lorijeanfinnila #mom #singersongwriter

Image From Picture Pixabay.com

 My heart is full

I’ve done right

I’ve thought of those most important to me

And I stand as a woman

Brave, frightened, confused, stern and overwhelmed at times

To be the best mother I can be

For you Isabelle

What I Wish I Would Have Done #lorijeanfinnila #womanauthor #literature

 

Image by boris rager from Pixabay

Image by Mauricio Hernandez from Pixabay

What I Wish I Would Have Done

How many times have I felt sorry for myself with regrets: jobs I’ve deplored, jobs I’ve wished for that never would have worked out, grieving over my choices that they've taken so much time from my life, but really my choices haven't.

With all the pain through the years, physical and mental, I've come to a place in my old age where I'm standing facing my choices seeing that the 2 or 3 I’ve questioned were just meant to be. I had no choice to make these decisions, for in life the choices I made were for survival. I only made choices that would keep me alive.

It would seem I missed the laugh and fun, choices to do things that I love, find a love, but in reality deep in my mind I had those. Those short thoughts of all of them when I had the chance to feel them all added up to a huge amount of life in those short moments. If I didn’t have those I would haven't survived. 

As life undergoes you feel the suffering going on less as you get older: the slight indications that would sometimes save me, the ones I didn't take that would seem to hurt me, the strength I felt I didn't have at the time to be more bold standing up against those that were wrong. Yet when I would fall from those regretted actions would come to play where I’d run, fight, fight a new boldness, which helped make up for the regretted actions, wishing and mourning those that I thought that would be there to protect weren't the people I thought they were, I had to grow up and face a new reality of what really is and be strong and make bolder decisions because of this.

Where we fought from ice age to the next survival point I could see this never left us. We all separated and did what was best for us. I kept thinking I was making mistakes.

All my blunders, miscalculations, misjudgments weren't my fault. I was just trying to get out of the way from it, out of all the scrambling to survive going on.

Today as I’m older and wiser I can see what the fulfillment of life is. It's cherishing those short instances that only come by that you might have never had. I don't know what my offing will be. But I’ll be sure to make wiser choices now. From those before us I will get your messages now. 

 

So Damned #abuse #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 

When I’m a Child Of Jesus #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #songlyrics #newsong

Image by HANSUAN FABREGAS from Pixabay

 Verse

I don’t want you to touch me no more 

The relief of you not being here to hurt me

Is more than I can’t feel relief

Though the selfishness still sits in me 

as I see you fall so many times

I know it’s not right

Help me come to a place where it’s right

So I can feel safe and secure in my mind

Chorus

I don’t want you touch me

I don’t want your candy in my body

I don’t want your games your tricks

Your life near mine

How can I justify my state

When I’m a child of Jesus 

Verse

I walk to get my food

There’s so much on the shelf

The rooms are clear

I breathe in more breath

At the same time I feel my body with my heavy heart

How am I so much more deserving of this one more meal

Because of this empty room

Even though I’m so old

Chorus

I don’t want you touch me

I don’t want your candy in my body

I don’t want your games your tricks

Your life near mine

How can I justify my state

When I’m a child of Jesus 

Verse

My money will surely come through

Benefits are guaranteed this month

As one woman stares straight ahead

I watch tears pour down her face 

I know I have an obligation to feel her pain 

Pain and sickness soars one more day

I’m still holding onto my health but feel pain

I don’t know how many I can reach to heal

I identify with their disease as it’s my own

I just happen to be sitting in a more comfortable place

How can I justify my state

Chorus

I don’t want you touch me

I don’t want your candy in my body

I don’t want your games your tricks

Your life near mine

How can I justify my state

When I’m a child of Jesus 

Lot In a Sea Of Darkness #lorijeamfinnila #singersongwriter

 

Thank You For Your Support! #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 

https://music.apple.com/us/artist/lori-jean-finnila/535777513

We Do Not Matter #domesticviolence #book

 This is my friend’s book coming out tomorrow. Book

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

‘Right Before My Eyes #freesong #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 

Photo from Pixabay.com

Song

Shazammed! #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 For ‘Living On the Edge of Death’ (looks like it was taken down though, sorry) I have more music there. 

Music

New Listener On Spotify #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #spotify

 Thanks for the support.

Spotify