New Year's "Tears Turn" live video #lorijeanfinnila #singing #singersongwriter

 Happy New Year!!!

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

I'm singing "Tears Turn" for my son. I hope all your wishes and dreams come true.

Even Newer Update "Till Then" #sexual #physical #mental #abuse #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #brokenspirit #abandoned #lost

 I have even a NEWER version of this song! So proud. I know it sounds a lot better. I'm still not completely satisfied with the chorus, but extremely close to the entirety and love all the verses  now. I picked some great words to work with.

'Grafitti' Image by Capri23auto from Pixabay

'Grafitti' Image 

Maybe this photo somehow connects the broken 'street people.'

"Till Then"

Verse 

I faint when I think of the time lost 

at the time of the past 

after I was taken advantage of

after I was drugged

Chorus

 I know one day I’ll confront

I'll walk so high and proud that day

and be rectified till then 

Verse 

I said no one said he needed it 

I couldn't fight 

Couldn’t get away from it

thereafter.

Chorus

 I know one day I’ll confront

I'll walk so high and proud that day

and be rectified till then 

Verse

I freeze now though I’ve never moved

I wish I knew then what I know now

how well planned

possibly sometimes just to hurt

what they didn’t realize

is that they broke me

Verse 

It all started with a simple plan 

Make me look crazy though I made no sense

the thing was too wild 

even from coming from me

Bridge

Was followed for many years 

Brought fright and physical pain 

I'll walk like an adult 

See myself stand tall before God 

Who knows it all 

ooooooo

Chorus 

 I know one day I’ll confront

I'll walk so high and proud that day

and be rectified till then 

ooooooo

In my shoes

I’ll see myself stand tall

before God who knows it all

Till then

ooooooo

Till then

till then

"Till Then" #lyrics #redone #sexual #physical and #mental #abuse #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

Though it's still a mouthful, I think I've brought this song to something you can understand and more lyrical. It's hard where it's coming from my personal story trying to make it a bit universal, but I get closer. I think the hardest part is that it may have started when I lost my child in my stomach in its second trimester being ripped from me, when I was forced and drugged then, possibly lined up with other little girls that were wards of the state and/or human trafficking victims (those very well protected of these procedures at that time, that's why I tag #spotlight) ( if you know the story), possibly as a way to track me as a woman, which closed me off. 

To those that broke me.

This picture is how I felt, never so alone in my whole life, and it went on for many years.

"Till Then" redone

Verse 

I faint when I think of the time lost 

at the time of the past 

after I was taken advantage of

after I was drugged

Chorus

 I know one day I will talk

I'll walk so high confront those 

and be so proud that day

and be rectified till then 

Verse 

I said no one said he needed it 

I couldn't fight 

one took away my protection

I froze though I had never moved.

Chorus

I know one day I will talk

I'll walk so high 

confront those and be so proud that day

and be rectified till then 

Verse

I wish I knew then what I know now

how well planned

possibly sometimes just to hurt

what they didn’t realize

is that they broke me

Chorus 

 I know one day I will talk

I'll walk so high 

confront those and be so proud that day

and be rectified till then 

Verse 

It all started with a simple plan 

Make me look crazy though I made no sense

I didn’t know what happened to me

the thing was too wild 

even for me

Bridge

Was followed for many years 

Brought fright and physical pain 

I'll walk like an adult 

See myself stand tall before God 

Who knows it all 

ooooooo

Chorus 

 I know one day I will talk

I'll walk so high 

confront those and be so proud that day

and be rectified till then 

ooooooo

Till then

In my shoes

I’ll see myself stand tall

before God who knows it all

Till then

ooooooo

Till then

till then

Tears Turn song video Lori Jean Finnila

He Makes Me Happy #singer #lyrics #rock

 Verse

When he comes home

When he lets me know he's here

When he comes close

He watches to see me smile

Make sure I have what I need

That I've been happy while he's away

Chorus #1

He is not that man

That did this to me

Although you make fun of me

He makes me happy

Verse

I go to duck thinking they'll be a hit

Or a joke to it

He grasps in astonishment

And shows me he is not that man

Chorus #2

He is not that man that did this to me

Every time someone hurts me

It won't be the same way

He makes me happy

Verse

He's so sweet

Even with everything wrong with me

He makes me feel so pretty

Bridge

I remember him

Even though he's not here

He still makes a difference

Chorus #2

Chorus #1

Ooooo

He makes me happy

He makes me happy

Ooooo, oooo

Ooooooooo ooo

Ooo oo

Repeat

"What’s Happening to Me?" #newsong #lyrics #homebound #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

This song came from being homebound. Creepy the intense lyrics I can get at this time.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Lyrics:

 Verse

They come clean

Take care of me

I know I can get

Past this

Do they have to know

For me to make this happen

 

Chorus

Oh God, what's happening to me

Where do I go

I find myself trapped

In abnormal situations

I barely see

I'm scared

I'm ashamed

 

Verse

I'm tired of seeing disgusting things around me

I'm tired of seeing disgusting things on me

I know myself

I know this is not me

 

Chorus

 

Verse

How will I take care of myself

Will they come take me away

That's what he wants

But I can fight this

 

Bridge

Where's humanity

I'm locked in a life I don't know

Do I have one more strength

Do I have one more time to get out of this

 

How many times

Will I let this go around in my head

Without making a move

When will I move to get me out

 

Chorus

 

What's happening to me….

repeat

"He Holds Me Together" #newsong #lyrics #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 I wrote this song that seems to go with a love theme of relying on a man.

Image by Bingo Naranjo from Pixabay 

Lyrics:

He Holds Me Together

He holds my glue together of who I am

I don't have to see him to get bored,

Old, every day

 

Chorus

I still hold my hand

Up to the window

Looking for the place

He holds me together in

 

Verse

I go so far

My mind goes so far out there

I know why, I'm not sure exactly where it goes

I know he'll be there to catch it

So I won't die

 

Chorus

 

Verse

So much has happened in the past

That has caused this damage

Even when I'm frightened in my worst fear

He is still there not bored or scared of me

 

Bridge

When it's all over

The strongest of moments

Where he reaches me

I go past to curl up in my memories

By the heater as a little girl

 

Somehow I seem to stay alive

Even thrive cause of this place

He holds me together in

 

Chorus

"Slow Down" #newsong #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 Just finished this morning.

Image by Karen Warfel from Pixabay 

"My Virtue" #newsong #singersongwriter #lorijeanfinnila

 I just drummed this up. Hoping it doesn't sound too much like a book. I can continue to work on it.

Image by olekowy from Pixabay 

Make-Believe World #updated #lyrics #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

Make-Believe World Lyrics

Verse

Those pose

Those move, we watch

We feel to appear freedom

No worry from conflicts

Chorus

Jump into

A make-believe  world

This is where we dream

Where nothing ever happens to us

Verse

We try so hard

only to imagine

What it's like

Feeling no fear or pain

Chorus

Verse

We know, we're told, we should be careful

We're warned of harm

Whom has had it done

So many times

Bridge

Let go

Feel free

Even if only just for one moment

Just the same as then well before

Chorus

"My Waltz" #newsong #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #alternativelifestyle #podcast

 Free draft of song "Where's My Waltz?" Though I have passion, I still crave romance too.

Image by Fathromi Ramdlon from Pixabay 

Lyrics:

Verse

All these things of nonsense

Get in my way

I’m trying to push myself

To a place where I’m supposed to be

Though I crave passion

I still do too to romance

Chorus

Where’s my waltz?

I need love

It’s so important 

To me too

Where’s my waltz?

Verse

Tip on my toes in my head

Till I see myself falling off a cliff

I’m busy in my head

Don’t appear to have time

For anything else

Bridge

Incomprehensible images 

controllingly sit before me

I’m left confused

What is my next step

Chorus

Verse

Perhaps it’s a protector

A guard a knight

A self-defense mechanism

It’s embedded so deep inside me

I can’t see it

Maybe this is why

This is seen to you

So strongly this way

Chorus

If we've lost everything in life, we still have pen and paper.

Listen to where the song came from in this podcast "Power of Words" for free at iHeartRadio Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Spotify Podcasts, Pandora Podcasts, and Audible.

"No, No, No" #mysexy #song #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 Really liking this one. Needed a sexy picture.

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay 

No, No, No

Lyrics:

Verse

I say no

Though that's not what I mean

I want you

When I capture your presence near me

 

 Chorus

I can't do or think what  I want to

I was meant to never be this way

I was in the wrong place

I was taught to say no

Verse

My mind keeps coming

Back to you

Your words, your breath

The way I watch you move

Picturing you inside me

 

Chorus

I can't do or think what I want to

I was meant to never be this way

I was in the wrong place

I was taught to say no

 

Verse

I shudder when I see you leave

Knowing I'll never see you again

I imagine everything you'd do

Your touch your taste

Your mouth inside of mine

 

Chorus 

I can't do what I want

I promised I would never do

Never thinking on my own

Standing all alone

 

I can't do or think what I want to

I was meant to never be this way

I was born in the wrong place

I was taught to say no

 

No, no, no

repeat

Homelessness and God #songs #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #alternativelifestyle #podcast

I found "God Has All the Power" matches up well with "He Walks Among Us."

Image by Here and now, unfortunately, ends my journey on Pixabay.

Free drafts of songs "God Has All the Power" and "He Walks Among Us."

Listen to Lori's songwriting process and a bit about her life in this podcast at Anchor, Spotify Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio Podcasts, Pandora Podcasts, and Audible.

 

Updated Song "Safer Than" #release #EP #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #alternativelifestyle #podcast

 This is an update of the song "Safer Than" as I get closer to the finished EP.

Free song Updated "Safer Than"

Listen to the podcast about the song and Lori's life for free at Anchor, Spotify Podcasts, Audible, iHeartRadio Podcasts, Pandora Podcasts, and Apple Podcasts.

Lyrics:

Verse

Dog wrestles on my ears

Till they look melted like wax

Behind the dark, cold corner

Of the cellar stairs

More powerful than the masochist

 

Chorus

Safer than

What we go through

In the long run

Better than what

Could have been

 

Verse

Men that want to

Put their hands

Down my bloomies

More powerful

than the smugglers

 

Chorus

Safer than

What we go through

In the long run

Better than what

Could have been

 

Verse

Thrust onto my bed

With a cracked neck

Safer than my daddy

 

Bridge

Unwanted babies

Lined up by little girls

Safer for the priests

Spotlight

 

Chorus

Safer than

What we go through

In the long run

Better than what

Could have been