What Is It That I Sorely Need #newsong #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

I just started hitting this down. 

What is it that I sorely need

Photo by Anna Tarazevich

Alone in the dark

In a field waiting for life

Underwater where I escape most

I feel the beauty of desertion

the gaping holes in me

 Sagging skin and porous mane

I dont see

The liberation of disappearance

 I once feel again 

Though desertion is what you all see

I feel rooted

To some I may be buried

But I'm actually immersed

Not even to the knowledge to myself 

Outbreak to freedom 

A flight to liberation

Though this is what you may see

I feel the departure to the arrival me

Glasses Coated with Gold #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 I just rewrote a song that I did a while back. Apparently this is what happens to you when you are left around so much lavish. Oh, oh.....

Photo courtesy Amazon.

Glasses Coated with Gold

Verse

So bored with disgust

Can't compare my lethargy

With words that come out of my mouth

Please forgive me for speaking

my boredom is beyond tears

Chorus

All I know 

are the glasses coated with gold

the freedom to run

play limitlessly

Verse

A desire to behold

A monument,

That fine white house 

on the hill to be mine

which all led to chancy foot skating

on a flowing river

where ducks drown

I could see to the bottom

where I hear the ice crack

as I was gently lifted

to my state where I was supposed to be

I needed more fun

to the farthest place 

I can run

a queen to be,

 a show of me, 

in a play for everyone to see

"Forgetting the Words" #newlyrics #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

 I found this neat where I was having a hard time getting the peace needed to write, this is what came out. Hoping my son will come up with a photo for this for my podcast on this song.

Verse

I’m thinking happiness and sad

both close together

I’m confused

I know not to tire

I’m trying to see where I am

It moves when I try to imagine what it is

Sadly enough, I don’t know when it’s coming back

My sight sees it perfectly outlined

though I can’t perfectly define it

I can still verbalize it out loud

Chorus

it will all come to me

don’t worry everyday

just because I keep

forgetting the words I want to say

Verse

It’s perfectly outlined and black

though not the deepest in its fullest

almost like a shadow 

I see the silhouette

I know not to tire

though It moves when I try to imagine what it is

Sadly enough, I don’t know 

when it’s coming back

Chorus

it will all come to me

don’t worry everyday

just because I keep

forgetting the words I want to say

I’m not crazy

though it looks like I am

I work everyday

to camouflage the vision

Don’t judge me

If I see myself this way

I know I’m not the only one

who has problems

all at the same time

just give me a chance

to show you I can be like you

Chorus

it will all come to me

don’t worry everyday

just because I keep

forgetting the words I want to say

oooo oooo oooo oooo oooo ooooo

ooooo oooo ooooooooooooooot

repeat

My Son's Photo for Lost In a "Sea of Darkness " #lorijeanfinnila #topchartssong #singersongwriter

This photo my son took helped to inspire this song.

lyrics

Verse

I come out with the way you don’t want to hear it

I’m talking again the way it’s not popular

when will I learn

Chorus

I’m lost in a sea of darkness

I can’t find my way to normalness

where is it that I can’t find to be

Verse

I’m flying I’m floating alone

in a sea of darkness

I can’t find my home

I think I’ll rest in peace alone

Chorus

I’m lost in a sea of darkness

I can’t find my way to normalness

where is it

that I can’t find to be

Verse

I think I’ve found a new way

I feel I’m opening up again

I feel the connecting

I know I’m on the right path

just to fall again

Perhaps I’m not so wrong

just born in a world not made for myself

where I can walk in a dimension and feel

comfortable on my own

if it were only safe

Chorus

I’m lost in a sea of darkness

I can’t find my way to normalness

where is it that I can’t find to be

lost in a sea of darkness

repeat

oooo oooo

ooooooooo

repeat

"I'm Lyin' Up All Night" #newsong #EP #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric

Verse

Hate you the more I think of you

I want you the more that I think of you

You think this is the way to control me

I’ll fight and hurt inside

before I give into you

I lay up all night 

telling myself

I can do this

I can fly by this pain

I won’t crawl or beg

to make you understand

Chorus

I’m laying up all night again

I know I’m right

you’ve been wrong again

you can’t keep treating me this way

I won’t give you my love the right way

Verse

I know I’ve been lovable

you can’t see this

you want to control me

I can’t deal with this

 why can’t you just 

love me the way I am

Chorus

Verse

You want me to be the way that you want

I’ve never been able to do this

I only know how to be myself

How can I marry and be your queen

when you won’t let your princess beam

to lightest and darkest moments with you

I just want to touch you…..

oooo…. oooo… ooooo…..

repeat

Ok One More "I Could Part the Seas" #chances #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

I Could Part the Seas

Verse

Why can’t someone understand me

all I’m trying to do is the right thing

I’m solemn in my thoughts

I’m clean in my movements

If you gave me the chance

I could part the seas

that you could walk right through

I’m so strong 

when you’re beside me

but then you leave

I don’t know where I am

How can I be so helpless

and so strong so close to the same time

I’m seeing clear again now that you’re near me

but you get mad when I feel this way

why can’t I be the same things to you

both at the same time

Chorus

Verse

I’m not so bad

as you might think

I adore your face

and how you make me flush

My cheeks and my insides

jump around you

I know you want to have fun too

but you worry 

that’s not all that’s involved with this

why do you have to worry so much

Chorus

If you gave me the chance

I could part the seas

that you could walk right through

AllI need is for you to give me a chance

Boy I'm Writing It Up Today "Lost In a Sea of Darkenss #twonewsongs #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #podcast

 Two more songs for my podcast. Whooo hooo!!

Lost In a Sea of Darkness

Verse

I come out with the way you don’t want to hear it

I’m talking again the way it’s not popular

when will I learn

Chorus

I’m lost in a sea of darkness

I can’t find my way to normalness

where is it that I can’t find to be

Verse

I’m flying I’m floating alone

in a sea of darkness

I can’t find my home

I think I’ll rest in peace alone

Chorus

I’m lost in a sea of darkness

I can’t find my way to normalness

where is it 

that I can’t find to be

Verse

I think I’ve found a new way

I feel I’m opening up again

I feel the connecting

I know I’m on the right path

just to fall again

Perhaps I’m not so wrong

just born in a world not made for myself

where I can walk in a dimension and feel

comfortable on my own

if it were only safe

Chorus

I’m lost in a sea of darkness

I can’t find my way to normalness

where is it that I can’t find to be

lost in a sea of darkness

repeat

oooo oooo 

ooooooooo

I'm Lyin Up All Night

Verse

Hate you the more I think of you

I want you the more that I think of you

You think this is the way to control

I’ll fight and hurt inside

before I give into you

I lay up all night 

telling myself

I can do this

I can fly by this pain

I won’t crawl or beg

to make you understand me

Chorus

I’m laying up all night again

I know I’m right

you’ve been wrong again

you can’t keep treating me this way

I won’t give you my love the right way

Verse

I know I’ve been lovable

you can’t see this

you want to control me

I can’t deal with this

 why can’t you just 

love me the way I am

Chorus

Verse

You want me to be the way that you want

I’ve never been able to do this

I only know how to be myself

How can I marry and be your queen

when you won’t let your princess beam

to lightest and darkest moments with you

I just want to touch you…..

oooo…. oooo… ooooo…..

Chorus

I’m laying up all night again

I know I’m right

you’ve been wrong again 

you can’t keep treating me this way

I won’t give you my love the right way

Update "I'm Not Your Normal Girl" #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #podcast #update

I updated this song for an upcoming podcast. I hope you like it.

 Verse

I tell you to listen to me

I'm not normal

I need to know where I'm at in you

I need to feel my better half with you

I'm not your normal girl

I'm scrambled up in pain

I'm curled up holding myself

tight in my bed

I told you I'm in pain

I told you I'm not your normal girl

I'm sorry I cry 

I'm not normal

I need to do something

To be my equal

Even if I'm gonna die

I lose my breath

When I cry so hard

Telling you I can't live up to that you want

Trying to express myself to this

I see you get frustrated with me

I end up more crazy

you seem more scary

I now see myself by myself

talking to myself to this

I'm so very sad

my heart aches

I'm in pain

Why am I so emotionally scrambled

I see your love, feel your warmth

yet I know so deep inside 

you just want to use me

I'm sorry

I cry I'm not normal

I need to do something

To be my equal

Even if I'm gonna die

I'm not your normal girl......

"I'm In Heat" #newsong #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

Verse

You want to salsa

Instead of have a conversation

It gets too heated

I always have to draw the line

Chorus

I'm in heat

There's no way out

Can't get in a word in

It's too late for me

Verse

I always end up walking away

With no resolution in mind

I start from square one

Back to the beginning again

Will this never end

Chorus

Verse

I always have to draw the line

to a new scenario 

to the same circumstances

I keep running from

 I keep on looking anyway

"Gandiva's Bow" #newsong #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter

Photo courtesy Glorious Hinduism

Verse

He's the one

that makes me stop and think

Though I don't usually do this

give anyone a minute of mine

I may love Van Gogh

But this one puts himself together

Like God has had 

a good day with Gandiva's bow

He skin may bronzy glisten

He may fly like Superman

Making my mind wild and strong

But I would probably still

wrestle him to the ground

And when if his presence 

made his way towards me

I may be closed in a cage

But I feel I can bust out