Update One New Song The Beast of Heaven and Different Name to The Rain: Tenth Song Done #album #richinwar #lorijeanfinnila Leave This World #abuse

 I added The Beast of Heaven (at the bottom) song because I felt it was smart. I was having trouble recording Simplicity. A bit of change in the lyrics to It Wasn't Going to Change as well about a girl leaving a marriage that she entered to abandon abuse in her home. The entire updated playlist so far is here: Soundcloud


I remember my mom tying me to the cellar stairs when I was still in diapers. My aunt would come over and see me and be in tears and my mother would talk her thinking it was okay. My sister would come home from school and want to cry and my mother would teach her to ignore me.

Later it would be a closet and then no Novocaine at the dentist; it would make me strong she would say. This is where I came up with this song. I may make some minor changes down the road.

Photo courtesy NY Times


Ten Songs for Album

I Am Loved
The Rain
Rich in War (title song)
Life Before You
Am I Awake
Simplicity
It Wasn't Going to Change (new as well)
Way Too Early
Valentine (decided to use - I need to work on the composition)
Vanity and the Heart

Leave This World (video)

Verse

I was told if you want to live

you have to fight

I was taught

when the rain comes down

quiet in the night

listen to the sound

of the most important things

Chorus

Oh girl

what do you want

to leave this world

what you've been taught to fight

what you've been forced into

Verse

Some would come

to take my beauty

some would come

to take my virginity

Chorus

Oh girl

what do you want

to leave this world

from this fight

you've been forced into

Verse

Let me hold you while you quiver

shuttered up against the heater

hiding under your bed

tied to the cellar stairs

closed in the closet

while everybody stares

and calls you a liar

Chorus

Oh girl

what do you want

to leave the world

from this fight

you've been forced into

Verse

The man you've been waiting for

will come and take you away

like so many before

Don't cry, your time will come too

Chorus

Oh girl

what do you want

to leave this world

from this fight

you've been forced into

leave this world

what do you want to leave this world

It Wasn't Going to Change

Verse

I didn't want to leave you

or hurt you

the way I did

the tears you

had killed me inside

Bridge

We walked the same way

the same road

the same talk

so many many times

It wasn't going to change

Chorus

someone had to turn around

and walk out that door

and leave it all behind

We never really listened

to what was really going on...

Verse

we didn't really have love

I settle for what I could have

was afraid when I was home

of all the grown men

Chorus

someone had to turn around

and walk out that door

and leave it all behind

We never really listened

to what was really going on...

Verse

Someone had to step up

to speak up

for what they really wanted

I never really loved you

never really wanted you

you must have known all the time

Chorus

someone had to turn around

and walk out that door

and leave it all behind

We never really listened

to what was going on...

The Beast of Heaven

Photo by Steve Creitz

Verse

My hand hurts when I write

My head aches when my eyes blur

I can't relate when this happens

all I feel are nerves torn

Chorus

You are the beast of heaven

though I'm feeling bruised,

torn and braised

I will rise above with you

Verse

I'm bouncing

I'm happy with joy

I feel I'm blessed

when I feel I can anticipate

your direction

and knowing where I'm at

when you're around

Chorus

You are the beast of heaven

though I'm feeling bruised,

torn and braised

I will rise above with you

Verse

I can walk though it hurts

I can stand tall

though when I ride

it feels I'm falling every time

I come back again

Bridge

There's no sense of this direction

but I know fate has its purpose

I was meant to see you

hear you, and deal with you in every way

Chorus

You are the beast of heaven

though I'm feeling bruised,

torn and braised

I will rise above with you

and sit beside you

and sit beside you

I will rise up

I will rise up

2x

and sit beside you

Way Too Early #recording #nostalgia #lorijeanfinnila #newsong #Resolution2020 @iHeartRadio #richinwar #album #French #awards #abuse #2020

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

Well I have my five required songs for the ISSA award nomination for 2020-2021 (not sure if that's this year 2020 to submit or the one after at this point). I'm also working towards and album this year coming up. I've wanted a CD for a while now and for the opportunity to put it into record stores. I've made milestones along the way and now this is one I'm working towards. Now I just have to work on the songs I have to get them very ready, and let my mind wander to get two more songs written; I haven't composed two of them yet so they're not posted at the Playlist for this album. Follow along at this playlist I just made for the album to see the progress. Also you can hear some of it at my podcast at iHeart radio where I discuss how my emotional life journey intertwines with the production of my music. Looking forward to the challenge  - my 2020 goal.

Way Too Early

Way Too Early #newsong #lyrics #lorijeanfinnila #doubts #unsure

Hello!

I wrote this tonight on my way home, feeling unsure of myself again. Oh, oh.... I hate those moments but I know they have to exist because I'm not perfect. I feel at times that I'm a bit too vulnerable and that's mine are so strong. But I'm not sure to this. Check out the song. There may be some changes.

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy from Pexels

Way Too Early



Verse
I left home way too early
I was just a kid
I didn't realize
My mind would have to go too



Chorus
Oh little girl don't worry
You can comfort yourself again
It's not your fault
It's your life journey



Verse
It all comes around
to the beginning
where it started out



Bridge
The little girl
Sitting on the knee
Wasn't taught to say please
Just let her run
Just let her go



Chorus
Oh little girl don't worry
You can comfort yourself again
It's not your fault
It's your life journey



Verse
I had to learn
To bring my peace
Now on my knees
Crying to myself
Oh please
Tell me what I've done that's wrong



Bridge
I'm scared
I'm doubting myself again
I'm down on my knees
I'm cryin' again



 Chorus
Oh little girl don't worry
You can comfort yourself again
It's not your fault
It's your life journey



Verse
She said cry little girl
You can't seem to behave
You do everything wrong
You had to have it all yourself



Bridge
Don't cry
Just run little girl
That's what you wanted from the start



Chorus
Oh little girl don't worry
You can comfort yourself again
It's not your fault
It's your life journey

Life Before You #lorijeanfinnila #singersongwriter #minor2go #composition #ex #abuse

I put together this beautiful composition, "Life Before You," because I was able to with Minor2Go loops; he is so fantastic and a life saver. When I feel I need to work on a project or express myself in some way, where I can only use my hands so much, and my brain at times, his music brings relief and construction. It's so pretty. I had been thinking about writing a song before my ex where I felt so loved and free as a child and wanted to share this experience. So here it is! This is also dedicated to my grandma Ida Finnila within her playlist of songs when I felt the love in my life.



Life Before You by Lori Jean Finnila with Minor2Go music loops

Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels

Verse
There was life before you
I remember this after so long
But it's never too late

Chorus
I can see myself now
and how much I was loved
by those gone

I wish you only knew

Verse
I wish you knew the value of me
and how many people felt that way
about me
and how I felt that way too

Bridge
Now you laugh and want me destroyed
for all I know about you
But I will not go away
and let my strength leave

I can see myself now
and how much I was loved
by those gone

I wish you only knew

Chorus
I wish you valued people more
so you can see how beautiful life can be
the world is filled with so many
so deep that you can't even believe

I hope one day you will know
how much I really tried to love you
and I feel you felt the same way too

Haven't quite figured out the line up yet... but. I feel good.

Questionable Song Lyrics #mmm #lorijeanfinnila #newsong #lyrics

This is a song of a young girl feeling safe from her daddy in life.

Photo by Nicolas Postiglioni from Pexels

I Am Loved

Verse

The stadium is full

I look around

everyone is in motion

I observe I feel fine

Chorus

I'm confident in this place

my beauty is in tact this moment

I know I am loved

Verse

My surroundings feel protected

each step, each move I make

I'm watched to my privileged state

of who I am

Chorus

Verse

Each song that plays in my mind

brings in the comfort of night

I need no one around me

all I need is inside of me

Bridge

Father shows me love

passed down from my ancestors above

the one who is so important

showed me who I am at this moment

Chorus

Rich in War by Lori Jean Finnila #updated #composition #lyrics #progressiverock #femaleartist

Special thanks to @Minor2GoMusic at Facebook for the loops for this song.

Rich in War (at Soundcloud (draft) free download Dedicated to mémère Ida Finnila

Photo by Yvon Maurice.


Lyrics:

Rich in War

by Lori Jean Finnila

Verse

She didn't tell me

how bad religion was

She wanted to be a man

it's was so very very sad

Chorus

She was rich in war

all she had to do was

move her paintbrush

Verse

I made a deal with the devil

He came down to me

He said he wanted to please

I said stop

this is what he did to me

Bridge

He came down

on his knees

Wanted to please

my mind went away

in every way

Chorus

She was rich in war

all she had to do was

move her paintbrush

Verse

the men were so bad

so really really bad

they were settled

so really really settled

Chorus

She was rich in war

all she had to do was

move her paintbrush

It was so sad

so really really sad

so really really sad

#VOTE #lorijeanfinnila at #wtyt960 "So Damned" #billboardcharts

Please vote for my song up now at WTYT 960 AM Rock Station as I try to get on the Billboard Charts!! Song will be officially released April 9, 2020 digitally. Working on a professional video to submit to MTV. Saving up my Credit Card Rewards for this!! lol Enjoy.

Canada #TopCharts Radio #2 Christmas Song "You This Christmas" #lorijeanfinnila #merry #girl #mpgradio #French #royalty

I'm #2 never in my life on a radio channel!!!!!!!!! Yeah! The French love me.

MPG Canada Radio Charts

Thank you Baillargeon and Roulea ancestors for your luck rubbing off on me. Special Thanks also to @Minor2GoMusic

Lyrics and Updated Composition to #song Am I Awake #domesticabuse #lorijeanfinnila #lyrics #composition #progressiverock #download

Here is a download and the lyrics to a song I'm working on.

Photo by Ali Pazani from Pexels

Am I Awake

Verse

I know you really want me

or control me

I know I could be sad

and give up on life

Bridge

But I feel that it would be

better to just put it away

and get lost to the music

I only know when I feel this way

I know I'll be alright

Chorus

Am I really here

Am I awake

I take one step away and

I don't feel the pain

I'm here but I'm outside of this situation

I'm in shock again

Am I awake

or am I dreaming

Verse

I feel it would be better

to let the past go right now

I can see into the future

and make beauty of a bad situation

Chorus

Am I really here

Am I awake

I take one step away and

I don't feel the pain

I'm here but I'm outside of this situation

I'm in shock again

Am I awake

or am I dreaming

Verse

We fight to keep it quiet

but why do we have to do this

blood bursts until it spills over

my quiet screams to no one

Am I really here?

2x repeat 

Chorus

Am I really here

Am I awake

I take one step away and

I don't feel the pain

Am I really here?

I take one step away and I don't feel the pain

Am I Awake

Vanity and the Heart #lyrics #lorijeanfinnila #lyricist #singersongwriter

Vanity and the Heart

Photo by Paola Diaz from Pexels 

Lyrics:

Verse

I live from the fears of that summer

that pounds heavily on my mind and body

still, the little girl tumbles

Chorus

Does my vanity

interfere with my heart

Will it stand in my way

of what I really want

Verse

The cold scares me

the loneliness makes me peril

to my steps

my mind doubts its choices

Chorus

Verse

I slowly peek out from myself

I want to join in

I'm afraid I'll be banished

forever from my inner self

alone forever...

Once again I question my comfort

and what makes me feel assured

Chorus

Verse

Why do I have to doubt myself

so many times

why is vanity so bad

What makes me different to anyone else

for the way I feel to this